Day guests and evening guests: how to word the evening invitation
The short answer
Give evening guests their own invitation that names the evening reception, the start time and the place, and ask them to reply by a set date so your caterer has a number. Send it about six to eight weeks before the wedding, and keep the daytime details off it.
Lots of UK couples split their guests into day guests and evening guests. It usually comes down to room at the venue or money in the budget, since evening food can mean an extra charge for every guest you add. Hitched says guests rarely take issue with the split itself. The awkward moments come from unclear wording, or from evening guests finding out about the parts of the day they weren’t asked to.
What should an evening invitation say?
Evening guests need fewer details than day guests. Put these on the invitation itself:
- The word “evening” in the main line, so nobody turns up for the ceremony by mistake.
- A start time written as “from”, such as “from 7.30pm”. Evening guests drift in, and that’s fine.
- The venue name and full address, with the postcode and a note on parking.
- Who is invited. Write the names. If children are welcome, name them too.
- The dress code, especially if the day is formal and the evening guests might otherwise come in something lighter.
- Food. If there’s an evening buffet, pizza van or late-night bacon rolls, say so. People plan their dinner around it.
- A reply-by date, and how to reply.
Kind wording for evening-only invitations
These are examples to adapt. The names and places are made up.
Formal, from the hosts:
“Mr and Mrs Adeyemi would love you to join them for an evening reception to celebrate the marriage of Funmi and Callum, at The Old Mill, Ludlow, on Saturday 12 June 2027, from 7.30pm. Please reply by 1 May.”
Relaxed, from the couple:
“We’re getting married! Come and celebrate with us in the evening on Saturday 12 June, from 7.30pm, at The Old Mill, Ludlow. There’ll be food, a bar and a dance floor waiting for you. Let us know you’re coming by 1 May.”
If you’d like evening guests at the ceremony too:
“You’re very welcome to join us for the ceremony at 1pm at St Mary’s, Ludlow, before the evening celebrations.”
It’s a kind offer if the ceremony venue has room, and neighbours and work friends who live nearby often take you up on it.
If you want to explain the small daytime guest list:
“Our ceremony and dinner will be a small one with close family, and we’d love you to be there for the party afterwards.”
You don’t have to explain anything, and many couples don’t. If you do, keep it to one warm sentence and don’t apologise. “Unfortunately we can’t invite you to the whole day” draws attention to exactly what you were trying to keep quiet, and “Evening only” printed in bold reads like a ticket restriction.
Do evening guests need to RSVP?
Yes. Your caterer needs a number for the evening food, and the venue has a limit on how many people it can hold. Hitched suggests giving evening guests a way to reply, even an informal one, to help with the catering and the final arrangements.
Ask fewer questions than you would a day guest: who in the household is coming, and any allergies if you’re serving food. If you’re offering a choice at the evening buffet, ask for that too.
When should evening invitations go out?
Hitched puts it at around six to eight weeks before the wedding. It also advises against sending save the dates to evening guests, because a save the date suggests keeping the whole day free.
If you’re hoping to move a few evening guests onto the day list when day guests can’t come, wait until most of your day replies are in before you send the evening invitations, so you know who has a seat.
Think about how far they’ll travel
Hitched has a good rule of thumb: if a guest would spend longer travelling than they’d spend at your wedding, inviting them for the evening alone is a bit much. A friend who’d need a train, a hotel and a day off work for a four-hour party deserves either a day invitation or a kind conversation.
Keep the day out of sight
Hurt feelings often start with something an evening guest wasn’t meant to see. A few habits help:
- Keep shared spaces to the shared parts. If there’s a group chat, a public wedding website or a social media post that every guest can see, keep it to the events every guest is invited to.
- Give each household its own details and no more. Evening guests don’t need the ceremony time, the seating plan or the menu for a dinner they aren’t at.
- Brief the wedding party. Bridesmaids and best men know the whole plan, and it’s easy for them to mention the dinner to someone who wasn’t invited.
Questions couples ask
Should evening guests get a save the date?
Most UK advice says no. A save the date suggests the whole day, so evening guests are better off with one clear invitation closer to the time.
Can I invite evening guests by text or WhatsApp?
Yes. Hitched lists a phone call, text, email or digital invitation as fine for evening guests. Send it to each household on its own so you can track who has replied.
What time should the evening invitation give?
Give the time evening guests can start to arrive, written as “from 7.30pm”. Plan the first dance a little after that so the guests who come later don’t miss it.
What if an evening guest asks why they aren’t invited to the day?
Tell them kindly and plainly that the ceremony and dinner are small, or that the venue holds a set number, and most people will understand.
How Occasi does this
You add the evening reception as one of up to 12 events, with its own time, place, dress code and menu, then tick it for your evening households. Each household’s link opens with their names and shows only the events you chose, so an evening guest sees the evening and nothing else. One person can reply for everyone in the household, and the replies appear in your dashboard straight away. On the Guests page you pick the evening from the event menu to see who’s coming, who hasn’t replied and who can’t make it. See how inviting guests to different events works.
